(MOVIE REVIEW) Battleship (2012)

Hey! Bad acting and too much CGI sank my Battleship!

People who say that there is no sign of evolution in the world must not have watched a movie in the past 10 years. If there is one that that is abundantly clear it is that CGI is something that evolved from a need for “quick fixes” in the effects demands of movies into a staple that can be seen on everyday TV shows and commercials. It is a part of modern cinema that we can’t escape…so we must embrace it. The fine line these days rests on the debate of CGI being used to help tell a story or CGI being heaped onto a bad movie in the hopes that people will be dumb enough to mistake lots of things blowing up for a solid story and good acting. If this movie were to be thrown into one of those categories, it would be the latter.

Storyline: During an International Naval War Games, a small group of ships are cut off from the rest of the world and forced to battle an alien invasion.  

A person of low morals might take an opportunity to take cheap shots at this movie…which is what I am going to do. I didn’t want to waste too much time telling you about the story because there really isn’t a story to talk about.  This movie looks like it was made ONLY to sell video games. The CGI is overwhelming and underwhelming all at the same time. You are hit in the face with CGI at every point of the movie, but a lot of it is subpar and only helps to cheapen the feel of this abomination of an action film. The acting is ATROCIOUS! Seriously. I commend them for giving Greg Gadson, a real life double amputee, the chance to add some authenticity to the film, but his acting is so bad that you can’t figure out what in the world prompted them to give him so many lines. That sounds harsh, even as I am reading what I typed, but he could have contributed to the film without having so much dialog which was, honestly, unbearable.

Worth the admission? NO! This movie is the anti-Avengers. Where The Avengers had special effects that were well done and seemed to help progress the story, the CGI in this movie was like taking a sip from a fire hose. Just too much CGI with no story and NO ACTING to help bring it all together. Taylor Kitsch is getting a bad reputation in Hollywood. Between this and John Carter, his stock is sinking faster than one of these destroyed battleships.

If there is one thing that I didn’t flat out hate in this movie, it was the integration of how the board game rules (not being able to see your opponents ships and having to make intuitive decisions on where to bomb them) apply to the fight with the aliens. Other than that, everything is else was trash.

Let me know what you thought