This week’s review is a RANT about New Year’s Eve. No witty comments, nothing nice, just ripping it to pieces. You have been warned.

One of the best feelings in the world is when you sit down to a movie, enjoy what it offers, and walk away with a great love and respect for the actors in that film. When you curl up in bed with a little smile on your face because something in the movie pops in your head and it made you flash back to a scene that you really liked. That is the best to me. So, in contrast, the worst is when a movie and the actors in it make you experience the exact opposite. Now, take 20+ actors from 20+ movies that fit that description and combine them together. What you end up with is a horrible film that will not only make you regret seeing it in the first place, but also regret that you don’t have the guts to attempt an at home lobotomy to help you forget it all together.

Plot: The lives of several New York couples intersect over the events of New Year’s Eve.

Notice how I did not go into as much of an elaborate story set up as I usually do? Know why? Because there is really no story. At least not a good one. There are about twelve bad stories, but not one good one. That is the main problems with movies like this. You have numerous stories that, if they are told alone, can be told in just a few minutes. So you can’t describe anything about them without giving away the whole story. Not only that, but you can’t tell about the overall film because there is too much going on to keep the review under three pages long.

In the end, this movie is a train wreck. The ideal coupling for a believable love story is Katherine Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi? REALLY!? I could really enjoy that image along with a sardine and banana sandwich while I’m swimming in an electrically heated pair of swimming trunks. See how some things just do not go together?

Worth the admission? NEVER. There is a reason that it is sinking in the box office. Katherine Heigl is not likeable, Aston Kutcher’s attempt at facial hair makes you hate him and feel sorry for him all at the same time, Sarah Jessica Parker has a serious case of “horse face”, and Zac Efron can’t act. Robert De Niro should have his SAG card revoked for showing his face in this waste of time. Lastly, the “stars” of this movie are either “has been” actors or actors that are so irrelevant that they don’t even matter (please see Michele Pheiffer for this example).  At the end of the day, a well fed rabbit can produce droppings that are more entertaining than this movie.

If you feel the need to subject yourself to the punishment of seeing this movie, let me know what you thought.