(Movie Review) Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace 3D (2012 re-release)

I'm not going to go through the normal steps here, because everyone already knows the story. This is the origin to the Star Wars Saga that shows how Anakin is first exposed to the ways of the Jedi and how his story begins to unfold. The only thing that has changed since 1999 (when this was first released) is that this time the movie is in 3D AND Yoda is now digital instead of a puppet (he was changed to digital in Episode 2 and 3). So, as you might expect, the parts that you found boring as hell the first time that you saw the film are JUST AS BORING in the version. The pod racing is still boring. The story, in general, is still boring. None of that is changed with 3D.

The great thing about this movie is that every action scene really does look better than the original. Lightsaber fights are better, the ships look cooler, and anything that has action set to it looks amazing with the post 3D treatment that Lucas has done. Honestly, it adds a depth to some scenes that truly needed it. Not only that, but with this movie having such boring and pointless dialog...visual depth is a big deal to this movie.

Now for some truly negative comments. George Lucas is a note trick HACK that does not deserve to be a projectionist at a movie theater, much less have one of the most successful franchises in the history of movies on his resume. He has proven that the only trick he has in his back pocket is the regurgitation of old projects. He destroyed Indiana Jones and has beaten a dead horse with Star Wars his entire professional life. Is he condemned for it? NOPE. He is praised by hordes of geeks for it. Somehow, he re-releases a movie 13 years after it is bombarded with HATE from the film viewing community and it opens in 3rd place last weekend? That, my friends, is what is wrong with the world. Much like Michael Bay thinks explosions are substitutes for cohesive storytelling, Lucas thinks Special Effects are substitutes for every component that makes up a film.

Complaint #2: Jar Jar Binks is a pile of excrement. Really. I hate him. I hate him sooooooo much. I hoped that Lucas would wise up and KILL HIM in this version, but no, he lived. Misa thinks this is big'em time problem, okie day? (see how annoying that is)

Complaint #3: Darth Maul is a tragedy in the franchise. Lucas, being the HACK that he is, took what could have been a true threat and a really interesting character and turned him into a one note bad guy with no back-story. Seriously. What the fudge. This guy has red skin and horns and you let "old Ben" chop him in half after one fight. I think that this should have been a two picture villain. At least.

So. I actually give this movie credit for the 3D conversion. It added a much needed element. But overall, the movie is just as weak as it was in 1999 and Lucas still sucks for being a greedy little troll.