(MOVIE REVIEW) Madagascar 3 (2012)

Madagascar 3  leaves the entire audience silent…and not in a good way

A lot of times I walk out of “kid’s movies” and realize that while I didn’t really love it the kids in the audience loved it. In that aspect, the movie did its job. It appeased its target audience and, honestly, that is all that some movies ever aspire to do/be. They aren’t looking to transcend generations and go down as the greatest movie of all time. They are only looking to be the very best at one specific thing. Movies like The Smurfs comes to mind. I didn’t exactly praise this movie when it came out, in fact I think that I beat it up pretty good, but I did give them credit for making the kids that were in the audience laugh uncontrollably. So, if I trashed it, and it actually worked for its target audience, imagine how much I hated this movie….since not even the children in the audience were laughing.

Storyline: Alex, Marty and the rest of the crew find themselves in trouble again. While continuing their quest to make it back home to the Central Park Zoo they make their way to Monte Carlo. When they make their presence known in that city an overambitious Animal Control Officer makes it her priority to hunt them down. Needing a way to stay hidden they board a traveling circus train that takes them in (provided they perform). When one of the stops on the circus route turns out to be New York City they are ecstatic. But after so many big adventures in the world, can the Central Park Zoo really compare to being in the wild?

I really hate to trash a movie that is #1 in the box office and scores a 7.0 out of 10 on imdb.com . That means that somebody out there likes it. My problem is that no one, adult or child, was laughing in this movie. I had a 13 year old and a 9 year old with me and the only things that they laughed at were the things that were in the trailers that everyone already knew the punch line to.

Worth the admission? Not in my very humble opinion. Maybe the kids that were in my screening needed a nap or were laughing on the inside but from what I could tell no one really liked it much. If your kids do end up forcing you to take them to see it drop them off at Madagascar 3 and you go watch Prometheus. That movie was GREAT!

(MOVIE REVIEW) One For the Money (2012)

Remember back when Katherine Heigl thought that she was going to be the next big thing in Hollywood and took it upon herself to piss off everyone associated with her hit TV show Grey’s Anatomy? She just knew that the rest of the world was going to lap up her lukewarm comedy and acting. One good movie, Knocked Up, and then nothing but a string of junk. Killers, New Year’s Eve, and a half dozen other horrible performances later and we find ourselves sidled with this gem of a movie called One for the Money. In my opinion, she should have stayed on tv.

Storyline: Unemployed and newly-divorced Stephanie Plum (Heigl) lands a job at her cousin's bail-bond business, where her first assignment puts her on the trail of a wanted local cop from her romantic past.

Thoughts? This is a pile. Fails on every level. The problem that I have with Heigl movies is that she is actually has some talent. You can see it in spades. But she is so uneven that you just wish she would quit. I actually liked her in The Ugly Truth, mostly because of Gerard Butler, but she better find herself in a better role soon or she will be doing grocery store openings in the next 5 years.

(MOVIE REVIEW) We Bought A Zoo (2012)

It's hard to stop seeing something as you have always seen it and start seeing it as something new. Not that it is bad or wrong but more that it is a little off-putting at first. So to see Matt Damon going from the iconic role of Jason Bourne to an optimistic widower takes a few minutes to warm up to.

Storyline: Benjamin Mee (Damon) is a man that is looking for something to hold on to. After the loss of his wife he finds it hard to connect with his son, to focus on the next step in his life, and to give his little girl something to believe in. He finds a great new house that will be prefect for the family to start over in but there is a condition...they will have to keep the zoo that is on the property in working condition. This new adventure is going to take the help of the whole family, and all of the workers, to make it work.

Thoughts? A sweet movie and a great story of what a dad would do for his family. Sure, Hollywood hacked the source material (of a real family in Europe and their purchase of house with a zoo) to make it more heart-wrenching, but it is still a fun and charming movie. A great movie for the family to watch together.

Check it out!

(MOVIE REVIEW) HAYWIRE (2011)

There is a huge problem with people crossing over from one industry to the next and not really being fit for the crossover. You see it, mostly, with people crossing over to the film industry. Musicians and Wrestlers are the worst at attempting this. People like The Rock are the best examples of a "success" at this and he, lately, has sucked in almost every movie he has been in. So I was not expecting much from Gina Carano (MMA FIGHTER) in this role....good thing I am always wrong.

Storyline: A freelance company that deals in the obtaining and/or the assassination of high profile figures is sent to liberate a man in Barcelona. After thinking that the job has been completed, Mallory (Carano) is reassigned to a new case where she is to be the "arm candy" of another operative. However, when Mallory finds the body of the public figure that she was recently contracted to liberate, and her personal effects are found on the corpse, she quickly realizes that she is being set up and goes on a rampage to find out who is behind the set up and why they targeted her.

Thoughts? Gina Carano is a BEAST! Beautiful, tough, and she used this movie as a great introduction into the movie world. She received "thumbs up" from all of the producers, directors, and other actors. I am making my plea with DC FILMS to use her as Wonder Woman when they decide to move forward with the film. She can fight (seriously, the fight scenes are good and have no fighting sound effects like most movies) and would fit the role perfect.

Check the movie out!

(MOVIE REVIEW) The Woman in Black (2012)

The hardest part of playing an iconic character is finding your footing AFTER you are no longer playing that character. Take those that have played superheroes. George Reeves, Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh all had difficulties "escaping the cape". Tobey Maguire hasn't played much of anything since playing Spiderman in three movies. Robert Pattinson has taken on other roles while still filming the HORRIBLE Twilight franchise, so he may forgo this curse (even though he hasn't been that great in those movies) but Daniel Radcliffe has not really taken on other projects since he became the iconic Harry Potter….and that could be problematic for the young actor. The problem is that people do not know how to see him outside of the “Potter-verse”. This can be a difficult thing to overcome and something that many young actors NEVER overcome.  

Storyline: A young lawyer travels to a remote village where he discovers the vengeful ghost of a scorned woman is terrorizing the locals.-IMDB.com

The movie actually has some really good shock moments and finds a way to be pretty creepy, but Daniel Radcliffe does very little to help this movie out. He doesn't seem to have an incredibly large amount of dialog (considering that he is the "star" of this movie) and when he is delivering the dialog I still don't see him as a leading man. He fit the character fine, but he looks like he is 12...and that doesn't translate into "struggling single dad". And I know that this isn't his fault, but he looks incredibly short in the movie. Short leading men, on average, do not have huge careers in the film industry (Tom Cruise being the exception). The director should have done a better job of shooting him from the right angles to actually give him a leading man presence. Instead this shoot makes him look like a teenager playing dress up.

If you can get past that little bit of nitpicking from me, check the movie out. Not bad for a night at home in the dark.  

(MOVIE REVIEW) ALIENS (1986)

Since Netflix still has not worked out their problems with my queue, I ended up getting Aliens (Alien 2) in the mail this weekend before Alien. Oh well. The show must go on!

Storyline: It has been over 50 years since the events that took place with Ripley and her last encounter with the aliens. As a salvage ship finds Ripley in here escape pod, they wake her and inform her that the savage planet that her crew previously encountered is currently being teraformed to make it habitable for sustaining life. When the ship can’t contact the planet they decide to investigate, but when the alien menace that Ripley warned them about begins to bring down the new team they must find a way to escape the planet while keeping the aliens from escaping.

Thoughts? It's a really strong movie. I watched the extended cut (2:30+) and thought that it added a lot to the story. The aliens are one of those onscreen villains that will always scare the hell out of me...and rightfully so. Awesome villains, awesome characters, awesome director, and awesome story.

If you have never watched it...DO IT!

(MOVIE REVIEW) ALIEN: RESURRECTION (1997)

It has been AGES since I have watched an ALIEN movie,but since Prometheus is coming out this weekend I loaded my netflix queue up with all of them....but Netflix decided to send them out of order. I got the last one first and ended up watching Alien: Resurrection first.

Storyline: 200 years after her death, Ellen Ripley is revived as a powerful human/Alien hybrid clone who must continue her war against the Aliens. - IMDB.com

Now from the storyline you might say "human/alien/clone is a little wordy and sounds like this will suck.". You would kiiiinda be right. The movie is not the best of the franchise by any stretch. It has some pretty solid effects and turns out to be pretty watchable. Weaver is as magnificent as ever. So is it amazing? No. Is it a good way to waste a few hours? Absolutely. Plus, it is amazing to see so many "that guy played in ____ " in the movie. Seriously. It took me 45 minutes to realize that the guy playing Christie is the same guy that played Warrick on CSI.

One thing that I brought up, which a friend informed me that this has been hashed over in the past, is that some of the characters and the ship used in this movie look like a first draft from Joss Whedon (the writer for this movie) on his Firefly crew. Check it out and tell me I'm wrong.